CELEBRATING THE EMPTY NEST

Lonely and quiet is the norm at our house lately. (And clean) Having all the children gone has been a shock; it happened too fast. I’m thinking of all those exhausted evenings when I wanted to run away when they were little. I wish I had enjoyed them more. I didn’t realize how short my time with them would be; at the time I could see no end. Mike told me the other day that he was mourning the loss of our little children, almost like you would mourn someone who had died. When we discussed it we decided that it was even worse than death because they would never exist in that form again. We know we will see our loved ones who have passed on in the eternities but those sweet little babies and bouncy boys and girls will never be with us again.


A few months ago I was grumbling to a friend in our neighborhood about my longing for my departed children. We are of similar age and her kids are also out of the house. She expounded for some time about the joys of the empty nest. She said that she and her husband were having the time of their lives, going on trips, skiing, golfing, eating out and on and on. When I left her I felt like she had taught me an unexpected lesson about attitude. All I had to do was change my line of thinking. We are having fun. We are hiking and biking together. Dinners are easier. Mike is doing the dishes every night. We are free to go and do anything our heart desires and we are actually doing many of them. Is it always this hard to appreciate change? Would I really want to go back to getting those little monsters in bed? My empty nester friend has helped me see that there is a life after children and we need to enjoy it--together.

Some time later our church held a special fast for this woman’s husband. He had cancer and would be dead seven weeks later. This woman’s good outlook is blessing all that know her. She came to church to tell us about her husband’s illness with amazing grace and composure. She stood and bore a sweet testimony of God’s love for her family. She taught me a cherished lesson about enjoying my empty nest and now she is teaching me about accepting God’s will.


Church associations help people to share joys and sorrows in a way that is not possible in any other situation. Rabbi Harold Kushner in his book "Who Needs God" wrote about this: "In congregational worship, regularly scheduled services on a Saturday or Sunday morning, I have come to believe that the congregating is more important than the words we speak. Something miraculous happens when people come together seeking the presence of God. The miracle is that we so often find it. Somehow the whole becomes more than the sum of its parts. A spirit is created in our midst which none of us brought there. In fact, each of us came there looking for it because we did not have it when we were alone. But in our coming together, we create the mood and the moment in which God is present." (Pocket Books, p. 149)


I have thought about this couple and know they cherish every wonderful minute together before his untimely death. What if they had been sitting around feeling unhappy because their life had changed and missed all the good times? These memories are surely a joy and comfort now.


God planned for the pains of the empty nest--they are called grandchildren. We have our first and are beginning to understand this. Those lost babies are restored to us in a little different form.

[I wrote this a few years ago but thought of it yesterday in a conversation I had in my writing class. The sting of the Empty Nest gets less and less and we are enjoying it more and more. ]

SCARBOROUGH HERB BREAD

This bread is wonderful and will elicit raves when served.
Soften 2 T. of yeast in 1 cup warm water
Add the following:
3 T Sugar
2 ½ tsp. Salt
¼ C. dry parsley
1 Tsp. dry thyme flakes
1 tsp. dry Rosemary
¼ C. dry onion flakes
1 C. warm milk
¼ C. oil or butter


Add enough flour to make a stirable dough. Mix until well blended. Add 2 beaten eggs. Add more flour to make a soft kneadable dough. Knead 5 min. Let rise until double.


Divide the dough into 3 pieces and then those 3 pieces into 3. Roll into a 12 inch rope and braid together folding the ends under to make a uniform loaf. Place side by side on a large greased cookie sheet. Let rise until double. Brush with a beaten egg and sprinkle with sesame seeds if desired. Bake 375 for 15-20 minutes until light brown.


I usually double this recipe and make 6 loaves. After they are baked wrap them individually in foil sealing tightly and put in the freezer. You always have some nice bread for unexpected guests or to take to a pot luck. Warm in the foil in a 350 oven for 15 minutes after they are thawed.

BEARING GIFTS FOR ONE ANOTHER

I am teaching a writing class right now. I have 8 amazing ladies in the class who write better than I do. Mostly I am a motivator for getting others to write their family stories. I am always quite blown away at how well everyone can write their own stories with just a little practice. The other discovery I have made is that when you share your stories with others they get inspired to try. My new Ward assigned me to visit Tresa. She is a young mother with three little boys. I liked her instantly. I took a story I had written to my first visit with her. She got so excited I couldn't believe it. "Oh please, she said, let me be in one of your writing classes." And she is there writing wonderful things. Her first story was "Wow!" She is one of my blogger friends. Her writing will inspire you too.

My favorite writing books are by Julia Cameron. She has a wonderful philosophy of the spiritual aspects of writing--something beyond ourself that helps us write what "wants to be written." I tell my classes: "You may not think you can write but the Holy Ghost knows how and He will help you--especially with your family stories." I have had it happen to me many times.

The following quote from Julia Cameron made me think of Tresa and I connecting. I said from the beginning it was no accident that I got assigned to be her visiting teacher. We had gifts for one another. Then I think about all the women that have taken my writing classes--I get more than I give.

"We intersect one another's lives for a purpose, and we bear gifts for one another. When we are hypercritical of ourselves, we are afraid to offer the gifts that we bear, gifts of acknowledgment and appreciation, gifts of acceptance and respect." (The Sound of Paper, Julia Cameron, p. 188)

A DRESSING FOR A GREEN SALAD WITH FRUIT

This is a great salad dressing for a green salad or a spinach where you add strawberries, oranges, apples or other such pieces of fruit. It makes a good amount and keeps well.

1/2 Cup red wine vinegar
3/4 Cup oil
1 tsp. dry mustard
1/3 Cup sugar
1 tsp salt
3/4 Cup strawberry jam

Blend in blender.


Other jams can be used in place of the strawberry. I made it with Orange Marmalade and it makes a nice dressing for a salad with orange sections in it.

WHY I BELIEVE

My patriarchal blessing confirms that I have a gift of faith. I know this. It made it easy to be a social Mormon most of my life. I didn’t pray much. I rarely studied the scriptures. I thought I was doing fine because I attended church every Sunday and felt the spirit on occasion. When my mother died 14 years ago I knelt and promised God that if he would keep her from suffering any more that I would pray daily and diligently—that I would be a better disciple. I realized the importance of such a promise and I have tried to fulfill it daily. I began to study the scriptures. I have attended the temple weekly. I have been blessed and buoyed up for my efforts. Now I have confidence in
Why I Believe.

I BELIEVE because the scriptures have become a part of who I am. I memorized the entire chapter of Isaiah 53 and say it most every day. The 4 years I taught Gospel Doctrine in Sunday School I spent 1-3 hours each day studying. I learned to love the Word. Sometimes I feel like Jeremiah when he said: "…his word was in mine heart as a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I was weary with forbearing, and I could not stay." (20:9)

I BELIEVE because I have felt the power of the Holy Ghost directing me and giving me "sudden strokes of ideas," as Joseph Smith said it would.

I BELIEVE because I have been captivated and taught by the spirit of the Book of Mormon. I believe as someone has said that "a bad man couldn’t have written it and a good man wouldn’t have tried."

I BELIEVE because the temple has become a wonderful weekly experience. I have gone fasting and praying many times over the years and when I look back I see answers to those prayers. There are 4 winged vases in the Celestial room of the Bountiful Temple. They have become a symbol of the hope I have for my 4 children. Each week when I enter the room I say this scripture from Psalms: "Be merciful unto me O God. Be merciful unto me. For my soul trusteth in thee. Yea in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge until these calamities be overpast." (57:1)

I BELIEVE because I have learned the power to love comes from Christ and I want to have that power. In Moroni 7:48 it says: "…pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure." I try to include this heartfelt plea in my daily prayer.

I BELIEVE because I have learned that God has sent many good men to the earth to teach those who don’t have the fullness of the gospel. I have enjoyed reading many Christian writings by C. S. Lewis. He was an atheist for many years of his life. He studied and read thousands of books in his conversion process. This is what he said about the day he realized he believed:
" You must picture me alone in that room in Magdalen, night after night, feeling, whenever my mind lifted even for a second from my work, the steady, unrelenting approach of Him who I so earnestly desired not to meet. That which I greatly feared had at last come upon me. In the Trinity Term of 1929 I gave in, and admitted that God was God, and knelt and prayed: perhaps, that night, the most dejected and reluctant convert in all England. I did not then see what is the most shining and obvious thing: the Divine humility, which will accept a convert even on such terms. The Prodigal Son at least walked home on his own feet. But who can duly adore that Love which will open the high gates to a prodigal who is brought in kicking, struggling, resentful, and darting his eyes in every direction for a chance to escape? The words…compel them to come in, have been so abused by wicked men that we shudder at them; but properly understood, they plumb the depth of the Divine mercy. The hardness of God is kinder than the softness of men, and His compulsion is our liberation. (Surprised By Joy p.228)

Another favorite religion writer is Rabbi Harold Kushner. What he said about church services I can testify is true:
"In congregational worship, regularly scheduled services on a Saturday or Sunday morning, I have come to believe that the congregating is more important than the words we speak. Something miraculous happens when people come together seeking the presence of God. The miracle is that we so often find it. Somehow the whole becomes more than the sum of its parts. A spirit is created in our midst which none of us brought there. In fact, each of us came there looking for it because we did not have it when we were alone. But in our coming together, we create the mood and the moment in which God is present." (Who Needs God, p. 149)

I BELIEVE because my heritage gave me a gift that was precious to them and I know I have an obligation to open it and see it’s beauty for myself. The first member of my family to join the church was Jacob Hamblin. He knew Joseph Smith. His reaction to the Prophets death touched me:
"We was often presented with public papers with different accounts of the death of the Prophet. We did not consider ourselves under any obligation to believe them. I know I felt very melancholy and my spirits depressed. July 14, I ascertained from a private letter the truth that the Prophet and Patriarch were martyred. My feelings I will not attempt to describe. For a moment all was lost. I was on my way to Bragore and was under no obligation to in as much as they had killed the man God had sent to restore all things. I could not refrain from weeping. I turned aside to give vent to my feelings. As I was about to leave the road I met two or three persons. One of them observed, ‘I wonder what will become of Elder Hamblin’s Mormon President?’ I could hardly restrain myself. I felt that if I could be annihilated it would be a great blessing to me. I thought it would crush me to death. At length, believing it must be the power of the devil and knowing that there was something wrong, I prayed to my Heavenly Father for the Holy Spirit. After a little all was right."
Knowledge, prayer and the workings of the Holy Ghost are the basis of my belief. In Isaiah 53:11 it says of Christ: "By his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many." If knowledge is important to Christ it is so for us. I began by acquiring the knowledge of Christ in the scriptures the rest came along naturally. This is
Why I Believe.

CHOCOLATE COOKIES FOR VALENTINES DAY

These cookies are easy and decadant and wonderfully gooy and chocolaty.

1 German Chocolate Cake Mix
1/2 C. vegetable oil
2 eggs stirred up a bit
1 cup each, white, dark and milk chocolate
If you can get bulk chocolate and chop it yourself it
is worth it but chocolate chips are good also.
2 Cups toasted whole almonds or coarsly chopped

The dough is to just hold the chocolate and nuts together.
Bake 350 for about 10 min. (Do not overbake...10 minutes is all they need even though they seem a little soft.) Let them finish baking on the cookie sheet while they cool.
These are best fresh baked. I sometimes roll them into a
slightly flattened ball and put a bag of balls in the refrigerator and
then bake when I am ready to eat. They will survive a couple of
weeks in the refrigerator. Enjoy!

EVERY DAY NO MATTER WHAT!

My commitment to reading the scriptures
Two years ago in February 2006 I read an article on Meridian Magazines LDS web sight by its founder Scot Proctor. He said he had read his scriptures "every day no matter what" since 1972. He had informed his family that if he was ever in a coma or otherwise unable to read that they were to read to him "every day no matter what." Then he threw out a challenge to those reading the article to make a commitment to read their scriptures "every day no matter what." I took the challenge. I have read my scriptures regularly for a long time but never "every day no matter what." The first few months were difficult, as there were times when I would wake up in the middle of the night and realize that I hadn’t read. Bleary eyed scripture reading is not the best. When we travel I always throw in a small Book of Mormon. Last year I only forgot once. We were on a vacation in Mexico and one night we stayed up late playing cards and I went to bed without reading. I woke up at some point and rehearsed a chapter of Isaiah I have memorized. (53) Did that count?


I have been amazed at how much I am able to read with this "every day no matter what" commitment. Last year I finished the New Testament I had started the year before and then read all of the restored scriptures. On Sundays I try to read several chapters but most days I only read a chapter or two. The spirit has been with me like never before. I feel direction, peace and joy that I am hooked on. My prayers are better and more frequent. I feel more love and patience. My gospel knowledge has more depth. I will always be grateful to Brother Proctor for his challenge. Maybe you would like to have the blessings of reading scriptures "every day no matter what."