Garden Veggies

Garden Veggies
Made into tile for my stove backsplash

Portland Rose Garden

Portland Rose Garden
Mike and my 2 youngest sons Ian and Leif

Grandson Michael's Birthday 2014 throwing water balloons

Grandson Michael's Birthday 2014 throwing water balloons
With son Beau, Grandson Luke and his mom Jennifer


I cut this out of a wedding line. I must take more pictures of her.

Friday, June 13, 2008


Focus on the Family

Women who feel isolated and lonely often look to their husbands to satisfy what has been called their "soul hunger." It is a role men have never handled very well. I doubt if farmers came in from the fields 100 years ago to have heart-to-heart talks with their wives.

What has changed in that time is the relationship between women. A century ago, great support and camaraderie existed between wives and mothers. They cooked together, went to church together and grew old together. And when a baby was born, aunts, grandmothers and neighbors were there to show the new mother how to diaper, feed and discipline.

Today, however, the extended family has all but disappeared, depriving women of that traditional source of support. Furthermore, the average American family moves every three or four years, preventing long-term friendships from developing.

It’s also important for women to understand that some of their needs simply can’t be met by men.

In the classic book Anne of Green Gables, by Lucy M. Montgomery, there’s a wonderful moment when the teenage Anne says, "A bosom friend – an intimate friend, you know – a really kindred spirit to whom I can confide my inmost soul. I’ve dreamed of meeting her all my life." She expresses a longing that is common to women, but not so typical in men. It’s the need for intimate friendship. I think this is a key to understanding the incidence of depression common among many women today.

To combat this sense of isolation, it is extremely important for women to maintain a network of friends through exercise classes, group hobbies, church activities, Bible studies or bicycle clubs. The interchange between them may sound like casual talk, but the bonding that occurs there makes life a lot more satisfying.

My thoughts: I think we all know this intellectually but if we don't have women in our life we try to get men to play the roll and get frustrated when they are not good at it. The church is such a wonderful facilitator of female friendships. We have been in our new home for 9 months and I have a visiting teacher who is interesting and interested. I love talking to her. I have two ladies I visit. One of them has become my good friend and writing buddy even though she is young enough to be my daughter. We both feel like God put us together. I didn't get to have a sister but consider my sister-in-laws special sisters in my life. Alicia lives close to me and I know that there is nothing she wouldn't do for me. We can comiserate for hours. And I have a daughter that I feel close to. I understand her soul. I hope she does mine. I plan to be there for her whenever she needs me. My soul hunger is filled even by my husband because I am one of the lucky ones who has a man who likes to talk. But, I still need women.


Just one tall girl named Laurel said...

So true... I love going out with my "ladies" and it's my best girlfriends who often help most to get me through some of the worst times. And I've made my closest friends here in the CA ward through VT as well. It works!

Tresa said...

I had always felt a bit intimidated by women until just recently. What wonderful beings we are. :) I love the diversity that surrounds me and that I am getting to know. While my husband is my best friend, there are definately times that I long to have a woman near to listen with a gentle heart, to understand with an open mind, and to share a whole different string of emotions that I am not sure men are wired with. I am so grateful I have you in my life Charmaine. You are a true testament of what amazing women surround us.

Lindsay said...

This is a neat post Charmaine! I never took the time to think about that, but I definitely agree! The closest people in my life are women. Especially my best friends which fortunetly includes my three sisters! Haha there's nothing more fun to me then a girls night! :)

Tasha said...

Seriously, what we do without lady friends. I feel like my girlfriends understand me when sometimes Nate doesn't have a clue :)

You are an amazing artist. I am so impressed and jealous by your talent. Keep the gallery coming! I am watching for the Kalli painting...

TnD said...

After I got married one of my best friends who is still single worried that I wouldn't need her anymore. The funny thing was I needed her more than ever. Our friendship actually deepened. It was no longer built on similar circumstances, but on a deeper soul sisterhood.

Marian said...

I too had no sisters, but I have 3 wonderful daughters that are just like sisters...they are such a wonderful blessing in my life. I love to talk to them, laugh with them and cry with them. And then a few times in my life I have met women who touch my heart and are placed in my life just at the right time to be my best friend, and my angel to watch over me and guide me on life's journey. These friends are part of God's tender mercies to me.